What if I am too embarrassed to dance?

Embarrassment does not go away before you dance: it goes away by dancing. Almost nobody walks into their first class without it, and almost everyone has lost it somewhere between the third and the fifth. Waiting until you feel ready is the surest way never to go.

That is why the best first step is not a social, where people already know how to dance, but a beginner class. Everyone there is starting out, the teacher breaks down every step and nobody expects you to know anything.

The fear is usually of being watched. On a social dance floor that does not happen: every couple is busy with their own dance, with not bumping into anyone and with landing the next beat. Someone learning a turn has no spare attention to notice what you are doing.

The other fear is making mistakes with a partner. It happens, all the time, including to people who have danced for ten years. You fix it with a smile and by going back to the basic step. On a social floor, apologising for a mistake is as normal as saying thank you at the end of a song.

Going back to the same place. Returning to the same class on the same weekday means that by the third time you know faces, and dancing with someone who already said hello is a different thing.

Learning the basic step until you stop thinking about it. Embarrassment grows while your head is busy counting; once your feet go on their own, there is room to look at your partner and enjoy it.

Staying for the free dancing after class, even for half an hour. It is a small social with people at your level, and it is the shortest bridge between the class and the dance floor.

In social dance classes partners rotate, so you do not need to bring anyone: you will dance with the whole group either way. Going with a friend helps you get through the door, but try not to dance only with them, because you learn more by changing.

If that is what holds you back, there is a whole guide on going dancing alone.

Watching championship videos before your first class. Comparing your first day with a competition final is the recipe for never coming back. Videos are useful later, once you know what you are looking at.

Nor does believing you have no ear for music. Most people who think they have no rhythm find it within a few classes, and there is a guide on that too: I have no rhythm.

Look for a beginner class near you in your city’s class listings, pick a day you can repeat and commit to four weeks in a row before deciding whether you like it. First-day embarrassment says nothing about whether dancing is for you; the fourth class does.