What happens when your partner (or your ex) dances in the same scene?

If your ex goes to the same socials as you, you do not have to stop going. What usually works is a few weeks of distance, a different night or venue in the meantime, and coming back when seeing them no longer takes away your wish to dance. The scene is big and the floor belongs to everyone.

It happens more than you would think: social dancing brings together people who see each other every week, embrace for three minutes at a time and share music, trips and congresses. It is not rare for couples to form there, and not rare for some of them to end.

The first impulse is to stop going to the social where you know the other person will be. For a few weeks that makes sense: nobody dances well while watching the door. But giving it up for good usually means losing twice, the relationship and the dancing.

It helps to have other dance plans: another night, another venue, a new class or a practice. And when you go back, a polite hello is enough. You do not have to dance together or pretend nothing happened, and you should not turn the floor into a place where friends have to take sides.

Watching them dance with their new partner at your usual social is one of the most awkward things in the scene. What helps most is the same as off the floor: time, distance and not comparing. If it ruins your night, that is a sign it is not yet time to go back to that venue, not that you should stop dancing.

At a social you dance with everyone, and that is the point. Anyone in a relationship who dances salsa or bachata knows their partner will dance with other people, often very close. If that causes jealousy, it is better to talk about it off the floor and agree on what feels fine for both of you, instead of watching each other all night.

And if your partner has a regular dance partner, for a choreography, a competition or a show, that means hours of rehearsal and a lot of complicity. The healthy thing is to get to know that person, watch a rehearsal and trust. If there is no trust, the problem is not the dancing.

Do not make a scene at the social: the floor is a shared space and people come to have a good time. Do not put your dance friends in the middle. And if something makes you feel unsafe, talk to the organizers: at most socials they want to know.

If your ex goes to your favourite social, what do you do: switch to another social or keep going as usual? Tell us in the comments.