How do you count the music when you dance?

Almost everyone starting out says the same thing: "I get lost", "I never know when to come in", "I think I have no ear". It is almost never that. It is that nobody told them what to listen for inside the song.

The Latin music played at a social is very regular. It does not change speed, it does not change shape halfway through, and it repeats every eight counts from beginning to end. Once you see it you cannot unsee it — which is exactly why people who have danced for years cannot explain it.

Put a song on and count out loud: one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight. Then start again. If the music seems to restart as you reach eight, you are counting it right.

In salsa you take three steps and pause: one, two, three — and four stands still. Then five, six, seven, and eight stands still too. That is why it is counted in eights and not in sixes: the two pauses are part of the step.

Bachata is the same with a different ending: one, two, three, and the hip goes on four. Then five, six, seven and hip on eight. That hip lands on something you can hear, so it doubles as a check: if your hip and the music land together, you are on.

Kizomba is much slower and counts the same way, but at first it helps to count in fours rather than eights: at that speed, eight counts is a long time to hold on to.

The one is hardly ever the loudest sound. It is usually the bass, the lowest thing you can hear, and it usually lands where the phrase of the song starts over.

The practical clue: when the chorus comes in, when the singer returns after a gap, or when the song pushes forward and changes, that is nearly always a one. It is not a rule of music, it is a habit — and it works most of the time.

And the shortcut that nobody should feel bad about: at a social, watch the feet of someone experienced and start when they start. Everyone does it, including people who have been dancing for ten years.

Salsa sounds full and fast: a lot of percussion at once, horns, and a cowbell repeating a pattern over the top of everything. If the bass is hard to follow, the cowbell is the easiest thing to grab on to.

Bachata is more open and built on guitars answering each other. That dry metallic scrape keeping time over the top of everything is the güira, and it is what makes bachata the easiest rhythm to count when you are new.

Cuban salsa tends to carry more chorus and more conga, and timba — its modern relative — shifts in intensity through the song far more than line salsa does.

Kizomba you recognise by what it lacks. It is slow, more electronic, without that acoustic percussion on top, and with the bass well forward.

Count while you are doing something else. On the train, washing up, walking down the street: put a track on and count to eight. It is the best effort-to-result exercise in the whole thing, and it needs neither space nor a partner.

Start with slow songs. A fast track does not teach you to count faster: it teaches you to give up sooner.

And give it weeks, not days. The ear for this comes from hearing the same music a lot, which is why people who go to a social every week end up counting without counting, even though nobody ever explained it to them.